It's been awhile

It's been awhile since I found sumwan to have a deep and revelating conversation with me.

It's been awhile since sumwan could understand me.

It's been awhile since I could find sumwan which shares my interests.



I've been searching for sumwan, and old friend, it's been many years since we talked. I still remember the dreams we used to share and the fun we had. The snail mails we wrote, as thick as books. The hand made presents I used to receive.



We've moved on with our lives now. But sumtimes I still wish that we hadn't lost contact thru these years. Hope that wherever u are now, life has treated you better than it has treated me.

I'll miss you T_T

T_T bb

Sitting on the floor blogging on one of the last days of my life here in Melaka. Nearly all the furniture and stuff has been shifted back home. I'll really miss this place. The happiest things and saddest things have happened to me here during the last 6 yrs.

I'll miss ............

• lazing around in the house with nobody around to tell me what to do.
• going out late at night for yamcha without worrying what time I should go back.
  
• taking a walk outside with the little kids and ahman and emma and henry and that other little doggy.
• going to JJ alone and buying whatever I like.
• my uni days and my uni frens.
• sitting in the house with ahman and hugging him and looking at the moon and stars.
• Swinging all alone in the playground.
• wearing the clothes I like.
• Yeoji...who's dead now. I'll always rmb the time that she would follow me behind my bicycle and come when I called her. I'll always rmb the happy times that she used to play with me & ahman. Whoever poisoned her, I hope he/she will get poisoned him/herself and die a death a 1000 times more painful.
• going fishing, going to play counter strike, warcraft.

Henry just came over whining for attention and begging to play as usual. I'm thinking that after we're gone, would he be puzzled as to where we have all gone to? Wonder if he'll miss me and who will he play with next time. I hope the new tenants are good ppl. I hope emma and family will have a happy and long life ahead. T_T sobzzzz.....

What is trust?

Trust. Can't seem to understand how to trust. Trust is just something u tell others to do when u can't explain and don't wanna admit that u have lied to them. To tell the truth, I'll never ever trust anyone 100%. That's sumthing I used to do a long time ago, and bad experiences have made me trust ppl less and less.
What I believe is that the more u trust sumwan, the more hurt u will get when u find out that sumwan betrayed ur trust. I can't trust my emotions 100%, y should I trust others? I wonder what it is to feel like having sumwan u know u can trust completely. It must be relaxing just putting ur whole heart into it, without having to worry. When can I learn to 'trust' like that, and more importantly is there anyone that I can trust right now?

Why Avril Why!!!

I've been listening to the radio and I noticed a song that has gotten a lot of air time lately. Recognized immediately the vocals of Avril Lavigne, what I didn't recognize was the style. I used to like Avril. She was full of spunk, full of that angst that a rock chick needed. The songs that she wrote had meaning, and whenever I needed a little pick me up or felt angry, I used to turn up the speakers and blast her songs full on. I used to like her unique style which was later copied up by young girls worldwide. You know, the tie with a t shirt icon. Later she dyed parts of her blonde hair black, which I thought was cool.

I dunno if she has gone soft after she got married last year. But take a look at these album covers.
Left:
Year 2005 spunky rock chick with a deep dark side. Ineresting.

Right:
Year 2007 bubblegum trash pop without a hint of rock or attitude. Boooring.... I'd rather choose Britney.

Listening to this song Girlfriend, I find utterly no meaning behind this song and the Hey Hey You You's are getting really tiring halfway into the song. Melody is repetitive and I sense hardly any climax at all.

You know what, this song would be exactly what that @$#%@%^@% Alice would be singing.....yes.. exactly! Take a look at the lyrics.

Girlfriend Lyrics